Deep Fried Potatoes

Something's bugging me.
I asked myself if people in Asia were less decisive than people in the West. "I think I'm decisive," I admitted. "But I'm not really sure." I just noticed Western ways of thinking clearly seperated opposing forces such as good and evil, while Eastern ways of thinking tried to balance them in a yin ang yang fashion.

That thinking-green-analysis intrigued me. That very morning I'd given a talk to my little cousins and asked them to give me their version of the story of creation. (Sounds like I'm having a teaching theology here.) And the youngsters (of course, also me!) carefully balanced the roles of God and the Devil. We ended up solving a lot of mysteries. (Yeah, they're having a lot of fun about that.)

Now most people know the tale of what God did in his first seven days, but after talking to young people (my cousins), living here in Asia (the Philippines), I can now exclusively reveal what the Devil was up to that first week.

In the beginning God created heaven and earth. And earth was without form and void.
And God made a circular light in the heavens, and He called it the Sun. And God saw that the light was good.
And the Devil made a smaller light, rectangular in shape, and he called it TV. And the Devil saw that the light was bad.
And God made springs which came out of the ground, oozing fountains of pure, fresh water. And God saw that the water was good.
And the Devil invented fizzy drinks. And saw that the fizzy drinks were bad.
And God said, Let the earth bring forth vegetables, and the herb of the field, that the children may grow up healthy. And it was so.
And the devil said, Let there be deep fried potatoes.
And God said, Let the waters bring forth 10,000 varieties of fish, that they may provide sustenance for the children.
And the Devil arranged that the fish be smothered in batter, deep fried, and served with deep fried potatoes.
And God created the cattle of the field, and said, Behold, I have given you every living creature that moved; to you it shall be for meat.
And the Devil showed how the meat could be minced and turned into burgers, and suggested that it be always served with deep fried potatoes.
And on the seventh day God rested and asked that his children rest too, and use the day to contemplate the wonders of creation.
And the Devil created the all-day brunch, cartoon TV channels, and Sunday newspapers, filled with articles about celebrities, that the minds of the children be filled with rubbish and their bodies filled with yet more deep fried potatoes.
And God said to the boy, Take the girl and go forth and multiply. And of your seed I shall make a great nation, as numberless as the stars of the heavens.
And the Devil invented the computer and recruited 10,000 demons to fill it with online battles and images of top-heavy women. And the boy did part with the girl and did instead cleave to the computer.
And God pointed out to the girl that he had made her with many attractive blandishments which she could use whenever the boy was away from the computer.
And the Devil invented the Nintendo DS Lite (I want that one! oops,) so that the boy will be able to take computer games with him wherever he goes.
Now the serpent was more subtle than any of the animals that God had created. And the Devil did enter into the serpent and cause him to say to the girl and the boy, The tree in the middle of the garden the Lord hath told you not to touch. But I say unto you, if you eat of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, your eyes will be opened and you shall be as gods.
And the boy and the girl looked at the serpent and said unto him: No thanks. We Liketh not fruit. But hast thou any deep-fried potatoes?

And here ended today's scripture reading.
Amen.