I Surrendered - Squandered.

Heck! I am not busy. Otherwise, I am so bored. Oh yes, hello boredom.

Err. I squander a lot of things. Things that can be percept and not perceptible. And I know that I should cope up with it. Wala naman akong magagawa eh, wala kang magagawa. And it will be damn hard to face this things but you will get used to it. If you can dexteriorate this kind of oh-not-so-simple things and oh-not-so-damn-right situations, you will be awarded with the Best Actor/Actress in a real life situation. And I could hear the growling of others which it seems they reacted.

Anyways, get a life! Don't mind others if they opposed to.
But then again, you seemed not so happy with the given award to you. I know a lot of things you sacrificed to get this or should I say wasted?

Wasted Money.
Yes. I know people otherwise, humans are easily get tempted when it comes to money. Humans are rational beings: they have their own freewill and intellect. And this two important characteristics are little by little getting absorbed by the root of all evil. Money.
I know that we are not perfect but humans as we are, you are getting absurd if you are trying or masking to be perfect. And I know the fact that our global crisis experiencing today as financial other than global warming. And this sealed with the government corruption that made of one hundred percent papyrus are influencing the innocent minds and like a leeches sipped the whole of you. And here am I, sitting in my armchair. Waiting for nothing. Nothing.

Wasted Time.
I sometimes wish that my life can be a movie stored in a rare compact disk where you can play it on your gigantic flat screen television and you can stop it, forward it, replay it. And the headmaster is the movie reviewer criticizing your natural directed movie.
But it seems that you can't hold the glass hour everyday. There will be time that you didn't even know that tomorrow is your last day on this earth. You didn't even know that you will be in love with someone. You didn't even know that you will be sick. You didn't even know that you will meet somebody who can spend with the rest of your life. You didn't even know that you will be lucky or unlucky. You didn't even know that you are having an accident. And you didn't even know that you are not a human anymore just a soul, roaming around with nothing. Finding a friend named Casper. Or even search for justice. Freaky. It is way too unpredictable. Clueless. Biohazard.
Every tick-tock you hear is important. It is priceless. And you could answer it that why time is gold. Seems superficial. And I dissipated it. Hours by hours. Minutes by minutes. Seconds by seconds. And every single day is almost important to accomplish your mission by the momentum of a single agenda. But, wala akong masisisi. Although mayroong kirot sa damdamin that kasalanan niya or kasalanan ng iba why I suffered in waiting for clueless limbo.

Wasted Expectations.
Always look forward but straightforward.
I regret it why I should expect more this time. A lot of good expectations wasted. And ended up with the unexpected bad flying saucer hit you almost many times. Poor little thing. It is unfair for you to suffer. And I know that all of us in this world knows that may nanlalamang at may nilalamangan. Yes, I agreed. I should not expect more. I should not hope for something. Remember that promises are always meant to be broken. You should do it before you mean that promise okay? No asking for more.

Wasted Prayers.
I pray to God everyday. And I know that prayer is the most dynamic way to contact God. To easily connect with God. To easily send a message with God with unlimited properties and infinite settings. Prayers are sacred. You can talk with God with different emotions whether you are angry, sad, happy or anything under the sun. But I know that life is like a ball. In a simple explanation, ball is bouncy. It can be bounce up or down and back or forth. It where stated our gulong ng palad is. And I know that there are sometimes prayers can't be answered by this time and soon can be justify.

Wasted Dreams.
I am walking upstairs and I can't easily catch up whether I should step on the wet surface of the floor or just ignore it and walk to the another step which kakaligtaan mo na lamang. We are surrounded with doubts. Always have a question mark in our heads and soon can be crashed up with an exclamation point. We are afraid to do that. And afraid are way too risky. All of us have problems. It is the important ingredient where you can find out that your life seems more meanigful to you. Enlightened me by that. Hoping it deserves to me after all.
I doubt a lot of things. And I didn't even know how to mingle with it. All I know that I am scared. Scared of doing something that you will regret it for the rest of your life. But I can't help it. Having doubts is like my hobby. And you know that it is too way unfashionable for the people near at you. And it is not a gift nor a present. It is just a mail where you hardly open it.



Then I saw my kiddo reflected on a shattered glass. The way it dress, the way it talks and the way it acts.
I hope that someday Masquerain will soon to be shown up and touch my hand under the rain falls.